Sunday, December 12, 2010

I am Yours

I am Yours

Lord Jesus, I must acknowledge that you have me following closely to you in this season of ministry.  Recently, I was aware of feeling dissatisfied in several areas of my life.  I started making mental improvement lists where I saw fault and weaknesses.  But the perfectionism led me down the dead end road of self-focus.

Then I came across a passage of Scripture that described you differently ~ that shaft of light on your face brought heaven and earth together for me.  It said that no matter your circumstances while here on earth, you remained faithful; your inner posture was a reverent submission to your Father. And that's when I stopped.  I reread the passage again and realized how often the attitude in my spirit is one of demanding more -- more from you -- more of me.

Such a contrast to your reverent submission brought me to my knees and I saw the extremes in my spiritual exercises. On the one hand, I expect to "feel"  total dependence on you.  On the other hand, I strive forcefully in my area of giftedness, setting my mind to a breakthrough.

Such extremes are like a hell to my inner life and can be confusing to those under my leadership.  Father, even as a leader I'm susceptible to acting out a different role other than daughter when I look too far ahead or when I stop being honest about my limitations.  Rescue me from these illusions as they make me feel hollow.

Lord Jesus, keep my interior strong as I intentionally embrace your call.  Replace the hollowness with joy as I know what it is you have called me to be and do.

"Since the One who saves and those who are saved have a common origin, Jesus doesn't hesitate to treat them as family, saying, 'I'll tell my good friends, my brothers and sisters, all I know about you; I'll join them in worship and praise to you.'  Again, he puts himself in the same family circle when he says, 'Even I live by placing my trust in God.'"

Hebrews 2 from The Message