The “Must-Know”
Prayer for Women Leaders
MaryKate Morse, Guest Blogger
A little while ago during a
meeting, I had pressed a point that I thought was important. I came back to it
a couple of times because I could see that my colleagues did not get it. Others
were angry that I had brought it up, so I thought they didn’t understand. After
the meeting I received an email from my boss taking me to task for causing problems.
He put me in my “place.” As I sat at
my desk reading the email a deep sigh escaped me. I was and am weary of my contributions
as a leader being perceived as “inappropriate.” I am a wife, mother, grandmother,
and a woman who has leadership gifts. How do I lead as a woman called and
released by God even when resistance is common?
Social research has shown that
women’s identity gets constructed through relationships while men’s identity
comes through accomplishments. So, people want women to be nice and play nice.
If they are accomplished or show strength, their femininity is questioned. If men speak up about an issue, they
are “passionate.” When a woman speaks up she is often labeled a “control freak.”
People are uncomfortable when a woman is strong. What bothered me most about my
situation wasn’t the email censure, but rather knowing that men in these
meetings who act passionately about a point and press it did not get emails
from the boss putting them in their place.
So, what do I do? Women leaders face
unique challenges throughout their lives as wives, mothers, aunts and sisters.
Not just here in the United States but around the world. Women are 70 percent
of the poorest and most vulnerable people on earth. One in three women suffers
some form of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse by men during her lifetime. And
yet we lead. We want to make a difference for Christ. We want to be obedient to
God’s mission to go and make disciples. So how do persevere emotionally and
spiritually? What do we do as
women who love Jesus and lead?
We begin with prayer, and I have
found one that helps me a lot. When Jesus was facing his greatest challenge –
his betrayal, torture, and crucifixion – he went to his Father in prayer. Jesus
suffered injustice and pain, yet he prayed. He was misunderstood, ridiculed,
de-valued, yet he prayed. In the Garden with even his closest friends unable to
be present with him, he poured out his heart to his Father who loved him
completely. Jesus prayed for himself with intensity and deep emotion. His
prayer was raw and honest. He prayed three times for God to take this cup from
him. Three times is a Biblical literary device to mean completeness. In other
words, Jesus prayed his way through from his despair to fully entrusting
himself to God. He said each time, “Your will be done,” until it was deeply
settled in his heart. Jesus modeled for us the first steps on a difficult
journey.
So, I do what my Lord did. When I
feel misunderstood, frustrated, and weary on this leadership journey as a woman,
I tell my Father all about it. I bring a vulnerable honest self to God. I tell God
what I want and what I’m feeling, but then I give it all back to God. I pray, “Your
will be done.” I do this over and over again until I am back settled in my
Father’s arms and released from my weariness and sadness. I entrust myself to
God who loves me completely and who watches over me.
The mystery of this prayer is the
peace and resilience I have to go back and lead again. Instead of dreading the
next time we had a meeting, I arrived feeling clear emotionally. Instead of
avoiding my boss, I asked him about his family and day. I knew the struggle was
not ultimately mine, but God’s. I felt God’s favor to be myself and trust the
Spirit for the outcomes. Nothing really changed for this situation, but I was
okay. Though a word of caution as one woman leader to another, sometimes after
the prayer of relinquishment, the Holy Spirit will guide you to leave a toxic
environment, or help you discern how to confront the person or issue, or help you
mature into a better leader. The relinquishment prayer is
a first step, not the next step. On our own we cannot change this world, but when
we are fully submitted to God, God does watch over us and use us.
MaryKate Morse
Author Making Room for Leadership: Power, Space, & Influence and A Guidebook to Prayer: 24 Ways to Walk with
God
